By Trish Thrush, WAAA Health Law Advocate

As a member of the IEP team and my child’s best advocate it’s important for me to express myself in a polite, logical way and to document every interaction relentlessly. Yet, I like all Mama and Papa Bears, get irrationally angry when I think my child isn’t getting what he needs. I forget that there are steps to take and I want to organize a march to the school with signs that read “Justice for Devin!” because he was denied his chewelry-one time. See irrational. So, I wrote down these strategies for myself so I won’t forget that it’s not necessary to stand in front of the school with a bullhorn shouting, “But it’s in his IEP!” I hope you will find them helpful too.

Stay calm and focused in your advocacy.

20 Steps to writing an email to my child’s teacher:

1. If the issue is one I am sad, angry or frustrated about I wait 24 to 48 hours before beginning the letter.
2. Because brain function.
3. Read Wrightslaw Letter to a Stranger to remind me how to present my concerns in a positive and effective way.
4. Write out what my concerns are and why they concern me.
5. Ask myself: Is this worth the time, effort and potential follow up? Are there more important concerns that I should be focusing on?
6. Ask myself: Is this something my child needs to succeed in her education or is this something I want her to have? To help myself understand the difference between what I want and what my child needs I write the answer into this sentence: My child needs xyz to access the general education curriculum. Without xyz she cannot access the general education curriculum because (such and such negative impact).
7. Write down what I would like to see happen to resolve my concerns.
8. Define the steps that would be needed on my part and the teachers.
9. Ask myself: What additional supports will the teacher need to resolve my concerns?
10. Ask myself: Is this reasonable for me to ask the teacher to do? To help me be clear that this is reasonable I write the answer into this sentence: My child needs xyz. This is a legal requirement of the law as outlined in (WAC/IDEA). This is written into my child’s IEP and the IEP team has agreed this is one of my child unique needs.
11. Ask myself what support I can provide to the teacher? What steps will I need to take to be sure the teacher gets this support?
12. Before I begin the letter write down three areas the teacher has made a positive impact for my student. I will use these to begin the letter by thanking the teacher for their hard work.
13. Write the letter in a word or notes program (not in email).
14. Print and read the letter.
15. Ask myself: If I were a stranger off the street would this explain the problem and provide a solution the stranger would find reasonable?
16. Ask myself: How will the teacher feel reading this? Reword any sections that sound accusatory or derogative replacing them with polite requests for assistance.
17. Ask myself: What will an administrator or gatekeeper think reading this? Are there any areas of contention that I can anticipate? How can I reword it so that anticipated points of contention are explained factually within the confines of the law in the hopes that an administrator would read it and agree that this is needed?
18. Ask a friend or advocate to read the letter and share their feedback with me.
19. Edit the letter and wait 2hrs before sending in case I think of additional edits.
20. Send the letter to the teacher.