By Lizz Carson | Community Engagement Coordinator, WAA
There is always pressure around the holidays to spend time with family and enjoy all the sparkle, noise, and scents that come along with Christmas lights and decorations, but what do you do when the ones you care about the most don’t enjoy the chaos of the season? You advocate for their happiness and adapt to create your own unique traditions.
When my child was very young, it was clear to me that the loud noises and family gatherings were creating anxiety. For her, holidays weren’t a time she appreciated even though she was being showered with presents and attention. When she was told she had another present to open, she would burst into tears and become nonverbal because she wanted to play with her opened gifts or when greeted by relatives, she would become overwhelmed and bury her head into the closest parent.
This was not how I pictured my early holidays as a mother. I wanted to share with my child the joys of putting up our decorations and choosing special gifts for our loved ones, and that’s when it hit me: I had the power to create traditions that would suit my daughter’s needs while preserving the magic.
Five years later, I’m happy to say that creating our own special traditions has made the holidays even more joyous for our family and it has helped others to realize that you can enjoy this season at your own pace. Listed below are some of the things my family has done and some ideas from the WAA staff about how to make this holiday season a special and safe one for you and all the members of your family!
Spend time together making something - While some crafts can certainly be messy there are a ton of sensory-friendly things to create with the family over the holiday. From drawing your own cards to making a tree out of recycled materials, the options are endless. As my child has gotten older, we’ve changed this tradition to include painting ornaments for our grandparents, decorating cookies to give to cousins, and even using window markers to draw our winter decorations on our windows in our house. We always set aside some special, quiet craft time where we listen to soft music and make something special throughout the month of December.
Change up the tree routine - One of my favorite things about Christmas time is the tree decorating but my daughter is not a fan of the smell of the tree and how delicate ornaments are. With a little accommodation we’ve made this tradition a lot less stressful for everyone. We now use a fake tree, and my kid gets her own small tree for her bedroom. She has her own set of ornaments that are not breakable, and I use the heirlooms and glass pieces on the bigger tree in our family room.
Keep it cozy everywhere - While we all want to see our loved ones around the holiday season, it can be overwhelming for some to be in larger groups. One solution from our team is planning ahead and calling your hosts to ask if you can have a cozy, quiet room where your loved ones can quietly acclimate to their new surroundings. Consider asking any event hosts “Is there a room that is away from the main event where my loved one can warm up at their own pace?” Many loved ones want to make your whole family feel welcome. You can bring familiar items from home like a favorite stuffy or sensory tool, or possibly even something to read. Once they feel comfortable in a new space, see if they are up for meeting unfamiliar people in their new safe space. You can also say no to events you or your loved will are not comfortable with. Ask if you can attend alternative ways like by calling or video chatting during the occasion.
Remember to advocate for joy and remember to reflect on what truly matters most during this season. Sometimes it can be overwhelming to think of all these things in advance. If going outside is not an option, then create traditions at home. If you love seeing friends and family, but large events are overwhelming, try to schedule individual time with smaller groups that fits into your regular schedule. If you want Christmas cookies without having to decorate, use pre-made sugar cookies and canned icing for an extra sweet treat. None of the traditions sound fun? Start your own! This is about spending time with your loved ones in a way that makes everyone feel the joy of the season.