Written by J, an adult on the autism spectrum

So, I just watched the movie “Sisters.” For the seventh time. I’m not exaggerating, I could probably quote the whole thing at this point. I listened to “Made in Heaven” by Queen repeatedly today at work. I just put the track on repeat, put in my earbuds, and spent the whole day like that. Also, I’m in the process of rereading “The Razor’s Edge” by W. Somerset Maugham for what might literally be the hundredth time. I don’t know, I don’t keep track, but I’ve been reading that book again and again since high school.

I do also annoy people to death when I want to talk about one thing and only one thing. I’m working on that. It’s not easy when my brain is dying to talk about one thing and other people want to move on to something else.

But you know what I didn’t do today? Look for a new movie to watch or music I might like or a book I might find interesting. I know what I like. I do try new stuff occasionally (“Sisters” is a relatively new movie!) and find new things to like. But it’s nice, having stuff I know I like that I can watch/listen to/read without getting bored. I’m never bored with the stuff I like, because I like it. Most neurotypical people I know are constantly looking for something new to keep them entertained. Not me. If I like something, I like it, and that’s that. If I hadn’t liked “Sisters,” I likely would have just watched “The Princess Bride” again (that movie I can definitely quote verbatim… and often do), and I would have been fine with that. As an aside, if you don’t like “The Princess Bride,” we probably can’t be friends.

Perseverating is about more than just fixating on one topic and refusing to think or talk about anything else. Part of it is falling in love with one thing and being so excited about it that you can’t suppress your enthusiasm. For me, I feel like if I just explain to other people why I’m so fascinated with something, they’ll understand and be excited by it, too. The excitement is rarely contagious. I mainly come across as obsessed, which is fair enough, but not the whole picture.

It’s frankly nice to not constantly be on the hunt for new stuff to keep me amused. The old stuff works just fine. It must be pretty stressful to be bored by things you’ve already experienced, just because you’ve done it already. If you’ve done it and it was awesome, why not do it again? And again. And again. And talk about it because you want other people to know how great it is. Every time I go to Disneyland, everyone with me gets a little steamed because I want to go on Pirates of the Caribbean repeatedly. Like it’s MY fault that every other ride there sucks in comparison. Pirates are another topic you really don’t want to mention around me, because I will not shut up. Did you know that the most financially successful pirate of all time was Chinese? And female? Isn’t that SO COOL? A lot of people don’t care. Weirdos.

I know, it can be frustrating. Any time I’m in a group of people with my husband and someone brings up immigration, he hisses at me, “NO CLUELESS,” because he knows that I’m prone to launch into Cher’s speech about the Haiti-ans from the movie. That’s a thing that I do, and it’s really annoying to people who have heard me do it about a million times. And also to everyone else. I do think that immigration is a serious issue deserving of considered debate; I just hear the word “immigration,” and the “Clueless” debate speech is immediately where my mind goes. Like I said… I’m working on that. Don’t worry, I’m not an immigration attorney.

So, there are two sides to perseverating. One is difficulty having a conversation about anything else when you’re really fixated on one thing, which can be bad. The other side is knowing what you like and unabashedly liking it, and that’s honestly pretty great. Now, excuse me, I have other stuff to take care of, and by that, I absolutely don’t mean that I’m going to go watch “Sisters” again. (That was a lie. I am.)

This post dedicated to:
L, who is such a fun as <edited> little sister
W, my husband and massive Queen fan
Mr. U, the English teacher who got me hooked on W. Somerset Maugham

One more great thing about perseverating. Autistic people can have difficulty connecting with neurotypical people, but when a person gives you something over which you can obsess for the rest of your life, you love them for it and you never forget it. Even if it’s crazy annoying to everyone else.