Moms are an integral part of the autism community, whether they are neurotypical mothers fighting to get their autistic child the help and support that they need to thrive, autistic mothers who have and raise children in defiance of ableist assumptions, or autistic mothers who have autistic children and used their lived experience of that condition to parent.
In honor of Mother’s Day, I decided to read and review 3 books about different aspects of autism and motherhood.
Kate Swenson never expected to be the mother of a severely disabled child. When her son Cooper was diagnosed with severe non-verbal autism, she took years to fully accept that reality. Her memoir is a testament to a mother’s tenacity, as she fought for years to get her son access to the best supportive treatments and therapies while her own marriage broke down. It is also a testament to hope; she and her husband reconciled and remarried, Cooper’s aggressive behavior stopped when medication effectively treated his anxiety, and Cooper was finally able to start building a relationship with his parents and siblings. Swenson talks candidly about her disappointments and fears for her son’s future, while at the same time expressing appreciation for her son and his unique perspective. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand the journey of parenting a child on the severe end of the autism spectrum.
Travelling by Train: The Journey of an Autistic Mother
Laurie Morgen didn’t realize that she was autistic until after her younger son, Edmond, was diagnosed. As an undiagnosed woman on the autism spectrum, her naivety led her to become involved with a man who fathered Edmond, and then secretly abused him, causing brain damage. When Morgen took Edmond to the hospital, it began more than 18 months of being involved with Child Protective Services, as her trusting nature led her to believe her partner’s denials of abuse and her autistic mannerisms were taken as a sign that she was a potentially abusive mother. But Morgen is a fighter and was determined not to let her son be adopted out to another family. Her partner began to physically abuse her, leading her to end the relationship, she got a steady job and a place to live, and she continued to fight for her son, despite being opposed at every turn by the social workers assigned to her case who took her to court to terminate her parental rights.
This memoir provides an intimate look at the love autistic mothers have for their children, as well as how societal prejudice and lack of support can threaten their right to parent and would be of interest to anyone who wants to know more about autistic parenting.
When Jessica Park was born in 1958, autism was considered to be a rare disorder that was caused by maternal neglect. After she was diagnosed with autism at the Putnam Children’s Center in 1962, her doctors blamed her mother Clara for her condition. Clara’s meticulous note-taking, research, and educated attempts to help her child were seen as signs of being a “refrigerator mother” whose lack of emotional warmth caused her daughter to develop autism. This was in line with the theories of Bruno Bettelheim, one of the leading autism experts of the time period.
The book continues to explore the myth of the refrigerator mother and Clara’s attempts to find a treatment for her daughter’s condition, leading to the founding of the National Society for Autistic Children (now the Autism Society of America.) Clara was on the board of directors. In 1967 she published The Siege: The First Eight Years of an Autistic Child. It was the first memoir written by an autism parent and did much to disprove the myth of the refrigerator mother. Clara also advocated for disabled children’s educational rights, autism research, and autism awareness.
I recommend this book for anyone who wants to understand the history of autism and the pivotal role parents have played in the realm of autism advocacy and awareness.
Post credit Rebecca Stapleford